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Showing posts from January, 2018

The Scar of War And His Suicide To Escape It

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The Scar of War And His Suicide To Escape It 
He returned with a heavy heart. With a fierce storm raging in rain, thunder, and dark clouds. Memories of war collided beneath his chest. His lost brothers he could feel in the very bones of his soul. Nothing felt the same in this place he called home.

No words could describe the surmountable anguish that tore each second at his mind, creating a vast chasm. Loneliness slowly consumed him. Leaving him branded as a mental case, coming unhinged to reality. Drowning in the constant flavor of hops. Leaving no moment to be sober. Covering the storm with another, that if the fog became to thick to see, then his pain did not exist.

Flooded with anxiety of what he left behind in the chaos of war. He could not escape the nagging of all the thoughts he prayed to forget. Tarnished he felt, guilty, burdened, he felt far from a hero. Though each friend, each member of his family embraced him as one.

And on each night of his return, he sat at that foot o…

A Forgotten Teddy

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A Forgotten Teddy 
There, on a park bench alone, sat a lonely teddy bear. Drenched in rain upon a cold fall evening. Not a single soul in sight, but myself. And as I looked at it, I began to wonder, who it did belong to, why was it left? Did a child grow out its tender looks, was the mother in a hurry and they left it?

And as these thoughts progressed with a slight pinch of sadness, the bear began to remind me of myself. I too, often sit alone, cold, in the rain in silence. Hoping for the stars to fall from the sky and lift me. I think too, maybe this is who I am meant to be, a silent, solitary soul.

To only be loved for a momentary moment before being abandoned out of boredom or wear.

And as I approached the teddy bear, I began to see it was worn. Tattered, signs it was clearly loved at one point. Held through restful nights as a candle burns in farthest reaches of a room. Being a comfort in the dead sweats of nightmare. And I too, once held tight to something, clinging to it as if o…

Tears For A Beautifully Wretched World

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Tears For A Beautifully Wretched World
These tears, pull them from my eyes. Pluck them as if they are roses, but be careful their thorns. Do not mix blood with their innocence. For it is I who has held them for far too long. Stowing them away as if useless. Neglected have they been, burdening my eyes with sorrow.

Heavy, in the sweet scent of rain have they become. But I cannot release them on my own. Pull back the lids of my eyes and pry them from where I have chained them. Do not fear the pain you shall cause, for much, is old. If you must, plug the canals of your ears if my screams will bring horror upon your listening. Long has this pain waited to be heard. No longer to be shuddered by my attempts to keep it silent.

Do not fear the agony from each nail you shall draw from my eyes. Rusted they may be, from the misery that has soiled them. Causing sickness to my view, I, becoming ill set on believing the disease that has immured my happiness. I have become a casket for the damned, ca…

Our Relevance To Particles

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Our Relevance To Particles
No relevance is thee to the particles that float among us to create what we be. Our spirits are far designed to live among this futile air. This breathless nuisance of life, we are no more alive today, than yesterday.

For our visitation upon this earth in our physical presence is stemmed the moment we wake. We are but flowers blooming in a long summer. Each our own winter, but forever shall we slumber. But maybe more lies beyond this veil we see. Thus we must be willing to act accordingly, for judgment may lay upon our crowns.

None be perfection, but thrusting to the idea, accepting the imperfections is the utmost one can be.
Lending hands to teach, to grow, to help, never to hold bitterness longer than the moment. Being no burden to self, though our real wishes this. Being no false prophet, telling only the facts of truth, living only what thee truly believes at the deepest crests of the horizon.

Spilling no venom among the breaches of waves, for we all sha…

A Moment In the Middle East

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A Moment In the Middle East
A scorching sun canvasses the grounds. Flesh becomes its victim, sweat pours with no end. As if envious in seeking air. Eyes watchful of the distant, heads on a swivel. Hearts race in anticipation, crowds walk as adrenaline pumps.

The smell of gun powder stifles the nose. Tight grips upon steel, chambered brass. Sands flood the lungs, faces smeared in exhaustion. Thirst grips the throat, thoughts of home fumble the mind. Focus, focus, focus.

Distant shots, a setting sun, strange beauty comes to life. Barren lands seeping in anger, pointless in attempt to save. Lost, young, raged in empty hours of this land. Brothers shoulder to shoulder, but for what?

The eyes become useless as night arises from its chambers. Stars shower the blackened sky, the moon flaunts its elegance. Eerie becomes the view, shadows dancing between street lights and stars. Wind gusts with a warm kiss.

Now hues of green become the view. Skewed in perception but eyes trained in this moment…

Rapture Your Soul

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Rapture Your Soul 
A splendid rapture of the soul can lead one to become well. To cleanse the envious toils of the heart and mind. Rinse clean the absolute disgust the recedes in the darkest crevasses that one fears to reach.
We carry cobwebs that need to be brushed. But we fear them, as they look of webs. A dwelling for eight legs and venom. Ignore them do we, fearful watching as the wind sways them delicately. Clean them? But what if a creature lives within them, ready to kill what life we have left?
Well so be it, at least an attempted to become healthy in spirit gave you hope to become something new. Clinging to filth is nostalgic, memories riddle the old. We hold dearly as we angst they may be useful later on. 
But when has a cluttered heart of antiques led one to be profound in themselves? By all means keep the scars of lessons, but do not hold tight to what only brings burden. Scratch the regret from the mind and polish it for something greater. 
Too often a mind becomes a plac…

Where Does A Lonely Soul Go?

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Where Does A Lonely Soul Go?
Where does on take a lonely soul? Where does one find solace among this heavy haze?

A thickness where the sea compares as air. An open road, cumbersome feet, melancholy lines, dividing happiness from the mind.

An overcast of romantic hope. But quickly dwindled in the mist of a downcast. Shadowing the heart in gloom. An oppressive misery wraps its damp arms around the chest. Suffocating the rhythm that once beat with ferocious courage. But now beats seldomly, with intent only to keep breath leaving the the lungs.

Beasts form in the clouded view, eyes of raging flames. Standing in the height of mountains. Over baring, thoughts shriek, screaming in the emptiness that has carved its home inside. Still, silent, watching as the monsters approach. Strangely feeling a release, a comfort, the willingness to leave it all behind. Become consumed by what is unconsciously derived from depraved suffering.

Leading chaos to the garden, smelting all the roses, burning all …

The Existence of Life

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The Existence of Life
Have you ever truly looked to the existence of life?

Have you seen the the vastness that exists between each molecule, each color?

If you have, then you know what it is to weep. To cry at the beauty before you. To see the miracle of a painted horizon as the sun simmers to rest. You have seen the smile of a new born as you pass by it's mother. And in seeing such a graceful creature be brought into this beautiful world. Your heart warms at the sight its smile.

If you have truly embraced life, then you know eruption of all senses. The colliding of skin upon  fingers, lips locked in love. Though these things may have broken you, you still find beauty in them. You find the rain to be gracious in its giving of nourishment to our surroundings, to us. You have enjoyed the aroma of winters cold touch as well as the fragrance of spring after the falling of rain. You have placed your eyes upon a rainbow, not out of a glance, but out of admiration.

You admire its sparkli…

Living In The Shadows

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Living In The Shadows
The shallowness of reading what already was. Capturing tears upon words, following trails of ink. Leaving no sign of new. Scratching pen across the happenings of past. Writing to close to fires, melting the light.  Shadow's billow upon pages, shadowing the now. Tear's clouding thought, madness ensues. What filth grimes the nails. Clawing for something to free, but too late. The walls are built the hell is lit and the heart is bleak.
Eyes widen to the darkness, seeing no words to create. Holding ill to the unreachable, the no longer present. Fulfilling in desire, but holding deep to misery. Bleeding are the lips, for speaking in the shadows there lies pity.
And screams will not be heard. For no ears but the designers will be present. Crying to the vacant lot of split white canvass. But fear holds to the aurora of what could be. Now no hope is to be held, little is to be done. For only the creator has the key. 
Falling in disease to no absolute. ---- Thank y…

Depression Tips Its Hat

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Depression Tips Its Hat Here I am, in a strange world, a place untouched by me. My thoughts squander on the edge of lonely. Soaking up the this odd air around me. My heart feeble in its rhythm, depression walks in, tipping its hat with a smile. I grin, as I know him well, but never wish him to stay.

He sits now, at the foot of my soul, waiting, just for that inch. That unprotected second I fall to his dull whimsical show. Playing lullabies I thought were laid to rest long ago. But this place, this strange place untouched by me. Reeks of the familiar, reeks of left over crumbs of my suffering.

And I try, I try, I swear I am trying.

Keeping the hunger at bay, the hunger to envelope this appetite to crumble. To set fire what minutes ago was happiness. What a gallant smile stretched across my face in excitement just moments ago. But somewhere, somehow, from there to here. It disappeared, it became a ghost to my presence.

No, leave me be, I say, as depression tries to worm its way. Setting…

A Love I Plead To Be Free Of

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A Love I Plead To Be Free Of
There is no room for you anymore. These memories I wish no longer to store, I am sick of being dragged as if I am a corpse. A dead man for your pleasure to horde. To only speak to me when you are bored. I no longer wish to be a part of your dreadful story, let me soar. Let me find the better part of me though it may cut to my core.

We are but a endless tragedy, a massacre, a war. Let me morn no more what we could not have. Your lips tainted, left me sore. Your heart became mine, though you never opened the door. And I waited with much patience as I tried to restore, acting to be a savior.

But nothing could be done, you wore armor, and I had no encore. I could take no more, finding myself in a drugstore. Buying cheap spirits to leave me feeling no more. I deplore, let me be, let me roar, still you cling to me.

Our memories I want no more. You linger at the back of my mind, you gnaw, I bleed, I scream, but cannot get free. Chains I have given you, you placed…

There Is No Boredom

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There Is No Boredom 
This earth is no placed to be fixed, no place to be at a single point. Ah, the wonders that lie ahead. A nomad must a heart be. To truly embrace the eclectic sanctuary that is the ever expanding universe. Spinning us around and around a hundreds of times a year. Creating a connection to something that could boil us an instant if we drew too close. Frightful is this and if caught in a sudden stop, we would fling from the comfort of our grounds and we would burn like the stars. 
This danger excites the heart. It pierces the simplicity of boredom when one finds the utmost danger in the utmost simplistic scenarios. And from those minut thoughts of tickling fear of adrenaline, blossoms knew growth for adventure. Seeking the ends of each cliff, only to leap and find yourself soaring among the clouds. 
For today, breath could be taken away. A poison could scatter among the air, snuffing out the beauty that is nature. Consummating death to all, cutting burdens of many spoile…

Seventy Years Of Love

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Seventy Years Of Love 
Waves collide as laughter echoes through the cold air. Two, walk the shore line as kisses are exchanged in the collection of love. A melody erupts within their hearts, a melody so strong, a thousands symphonies could not match it. 
The stars dance along, shining bright in this moment. Hands held together, creating a single point of strength. As bare feet press gently into the sand, leaving behind memories. Washed away the sand becomes barren of any indentations. 
But they walk on, with no time to look back. As the night takes them to far away places. Diving deep into eyes, finding the wonders of the soul. Feeling the cool ocean caress their feet. It is perfection in now, everything fits. They sit at the shore as they gaze upon the moon. Swooning in this moment with nothing else upon their minds but eachother. 
They turn with romance and embrace. The waves crash upon their bodies, rushing away with just enough force to make them feel as if to be pulled back. Love…

A Story of Me, Dare I Say

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A Story of Me, Dare I Say
I buried my heart years before I knew what life meant, before I ever took a moment to explore the kingdom that is within me.
Before the coming of age, I fell to the preaches of the popular and the cool. I listened to unsightly words become labels of me, such as,“stupid” on needless occasions, as students looked on and the teacher pointed. I fell prey to the voices that cluttered my existence of who I was, and what I was meant for.
As time passed I struggled with the savoring of poison, numbing my thoughts and the voices that crept. Feeding the urge to make it all go away with the joys of pills and the rare occasion of coke drowned with whiskey and false laughter that came with it. Only to end each night with quivering misery and spiteful hate toward myself.
With misery building her home inside me, I left myself locked behind walls with tears sunken in a well, never to be released. Skirting the thoughts that would leave not only my heart buried but my flesh.I…

Reluctant To Taste Your Dreams

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Reluctant To Taste Your Dreams
Do not be reluctant to taste the marrow of your dreams. To cut through the squelching of your past as it screams from the scalpel you wield. Do no fear the addiction they may bring. The succulents they will vibrantly instill upon the tongue of your soul. Do no follow the shadows that will tempt you with meager escapes from the pain. Pain in reaching for what most speak of as fiction.

They twist the lines of their lives so that they may spill their ink from their pages. Only to blame the pen for the failure they have created. Do no wilt to the darkness that will brew in the stillness between the beats of your heart. For even a pinch of light, can rise, like yeast within dough.

Fill each moment with belief in the stars that only you can see. Spread your heart among the universe at which you have designed. Bend time to your will, do not let it slide. Do not become cumbersome under the falling sands. Stand, for as long as you do not struggle in pity, you wil…

A Corpse To My Soul

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A Corpse To My Soul 
I don't know where to take this. This corpse of mine that drags at my feet. It holds at my ankles with much desperation though it is dead. I can smell its stench with each fading second, but I have become null to it. Its grip, hollow, but somehow clings to me as if I am a God. And I hear it pray behind its rotted teeth that I will raise it from death.
I try to ignore its spoiled flesh, its barren voice. But I am drawn to it when the world becomes a haven for burdens. I listen to it with regretful intent. And when I listen, the hills before me, grow that much higher. I become a thimble of a man, pressed heavily with anguish. With the constant battle of what is no longer, as I clasp with aspiration to create what will be.
And this corpse, in its moments of declaration for wishing existence once again. I rage in my voice that it will shut up. That it will release itself from my ankles and let me walk in peace. But in just the moments I stop. Where I turn to yel…

A Perfect View

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A Perfect View 
And I saw her and in that moment, her smile became a beacon. A light, as if I were a lost ship at sea. So close was I, to crashing to the rocks upon the shore. But upon the misted sea, a light shinned in the distance, a hand came forward and eyes opened in the sky.

A warmth over came my body. I felt as if an angel was lifting me to the heavens. All my burdens became but simple itches. Sustainable I felt, my thoughts froze in astonishment. My heart, blissful with each beat. My soul, dancing upon the waters of my rushing stream.

Everything seemed meaningless in that moment, everything but her. The room drew silent, my eyes fixated upon beauty. Lip's of lushes red, eyes of emerald bliss. A smile of stars and hair of golden threads. Speechless was my throat, tied was my tongue.

Admired her beauty did I. Lost in admiration I found laughter at every corner. I felt comfort at every look and felt sparks at every touch. An excess of dopamine flooded my mind and I felt high.…

A Heart Of Skeletons

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Get lost in the most soul rising book A Man's Traveled Heart

A Heart Of Skeletons 

It never stops, the chattering distant voices. The scratching of old scabs, doing your best not to peel them back. To not open old wounds and bleed to the past. The constant choking on black smoke that floats trapped from the shadows we hide. But in this weakened state, we lift the scabs, though we know it bears nothing but pain.
As we stockpile skeleton after skeleton in the deep corners of our hearts. Hoping none shall find them buried beneath a facade of happiness. As we blend to the melodrama of our life, acting as if all is without care. But, the moment we reach our bed, we sigh, we die, we collapse in the tears of our misery. Feeling the scars we bear, speak with no intent to comfort.

Prying at our hearts as if we are deserving of anything pleasurful. That we are but a fragment of our former selves. That even that tiny piece of us that is left, we do not deserve. And we follow these egotistical…

Speed Limits Kill

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Speed Limits Kill
Dusk settles and I must drive. I must travel the roads and find something new. Burn the rubber from my tires and let the smell inspire the speed of my mind. Race the break lights ahead of me and never look back. Let me change the direction at which I ride.

Coasting along the oceans scenery and seeing things I never seen before. Looking to the night sky as if it were my first breath. The agitation of feeling suffocated drifts from my lungs. Free am I, to the the roads before me. Taking in new air and becoming something else.

Racing past the ghosts that peer through the rear view. And as I speed, their eyes become dull. They become something but distant headlights to my eyes. No more do I see red in the steering of my streets. I see green, green lights that press my foot to the pedal even deeper.

A rush over comes me as my hands grip the wheel tighter, fingers, bracing in pale white. My heart leaps with excitement and I am overwhelmed with serenity. Corners become dang…

Stars Of My Love

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Stars Of My Love
And here, I slip into ecstasy, my world becomes a chamber of wonders. Where stars become more than just stars. Each becomes a piece of you, and I count them, pulling them from the sky. Choosing only the finest, for those are the ones you deserve. Placing their silk covered glow into my pocket. Feeling their warmth glow inside the deepest burrow of my heart.

And when I am lonely with out you. I pull them from my pocket, placing each upon my wall. Creating your silhouette so that before I close my eyes, I may see you one last time. Falling in peace as I look to the empty side of our bed.

And upon waking, I find you by my side. And as I gaze upon your presence, I smile. I look to the stars on my wall only to see them no more. For they have drifted into your eyes with magic. And when you open your eyes from your restful slumber. I see each star glisten, shinning bright against the blue ocean that fills the pearl white of your eyes.

Each connecting with such grace. I am at…

Escape The Masses

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Escape The Masses 
Escape the masses, reverberate your soul. Impale the sheep that you once were, hang its head from the spear of your triumph. Show the world you no longer bear the armor of wool. But now, bear the teeth of a wolf, the heart of a lion, and the fortitude of a hero.

No more idle breaths, you now raise yourself from the depths of your living grave. No longer will you walk with your head turned to the ground. You now walk freely from the herd, your shadow no longer haunts. You have sheered the weakness from you and now carry courage.

Be valiant  in your efforts. Be not a berserker in your actions, frothing at the mouth with rash thought. But be as if a Valkyrie, wings spread, blade drawn, and heart pure in the battle to protect. To fight that which wishes to bring harm.

Do not hush the beating of your heart, let it reign on your lands like the call of the horn. Bury the old and grow the new. Find yourself cleansed of the bitterness that tainted your blood. Let yourself fl…

A Chasm Of A Heart

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A Chasm Of A Heart
The chasm of the heart runs deep, deep in a broken soul. It hollows the veins of the heart like the halls of an abandoned cathedral. The wind whispers where blood once flowed, it whispers with a doleful voice. Carrying what blood is left like the fallen flakes of flesh to a passing breeze.

It beats with no reason but to keep one living. It feels with anger, with sadness, drowning hope in tears. Suffocating what breath of life is left inside. Its coldness creates a bitter tone, it carries  a distasteful flavor upon the beating of the heart. It gives no solace in the emptiness it bears.

This chasm is a mournful place. It poisons the soul with each day it grows. Voiding all life that clings to the walls of the heart. As ones soul pleads for forgiveness in self. Delicate becomes the heart, becomes the soul. Bruised in ego and spirit, shrinking like a puddle to a rising sun. Feeling no warmth in the day.

Becoming but condensation upon ones own existence. Watching with wo…