The Doctors Motive

The Doctors Motive 

  The cold lights of the operation room ominously fall from the ceiling. I feel them collapse upon me with such a somber feel. As I stare between the glowing lights I begin too feel my legs become numb as they administer the injection.

  The doctor and nurse peer over my face as they look down on me. There blue medical masks obscuring their faces as a dull haze of a halo mists from behind their heads. My eyes start to become heavy.

 The nurses face fades from my view as the doctor continues to look at me, his eyes as still as the moon. He blinks a few times and says, "Count down from one hundred."

  I start to count and as I do I feel a sudden penetration of a cold shiver take my body. But with the injection I feel no motion of shiver. A tinge of worry takes me as I count. "One hundred, ninety-nine, ninety-eight, ninety-seven...."

 I can no longer keep my eyes open. Fighting has become hopeless as I feel a frigid presence hold me down. My eyes fading to the anesthesia, everything begins to blur. Sounds become robotic as voices sound of electric aliens.

 I am awake no more, the dark wonders of dreams compel the passing hours. Then, in the deepest rest I have had, I come to. I wake, I see hazy lights sparkling as my eyes slowly expand. I look around in slight panic as I feel cold. Almost as if dumped in a bath of ice.

 I try to talk, but I can't. I can't move my hands, my fingers are numb, my chest, I can't even feel my heart. "What is going on?!" I think with growing anxiety as my visions becomes clear.

 I turn my eyes down toward my feet and there, there in the middle of my chest is the doctor. Blood covers his hands, his arms, spatters cover his mask. "What is this, what the hell is going on?!"

 My anxiety increases and fear swells like a festered wound. My mind becomes an anchor for horror. I can hear now, I can hear the voices of the nurse and the doctor. I can hear them communicating as I see the doctor dive into my chest with edged blades.

 I can't look away, it is madness, pure awaking malice. "What is this horror before me, why am I awake, why cannot I feel anything?!"

 I try to scream, but it is useless. My entire body is the epitome of nightmares. I am as frail right now as I was in the womb of my mother. I look up at the ceiling, hoping to drown out the moment with other thoughts.

 But these lights, these abducting lights. They take any peace from your mind. They shade you with false warmth as they lay pressed into the hospital like dying fireflies. Suddenly a spatter of blood lands upon my face.

 I can slightly feel its lukewarm temperature upon my right cheek. I panic even more, I can't feel my heart, but if I could, it would be pacing faster than the drill the doctor has spinning in my body. I start to hear the sound of rapid beeping.

 It sounds of a monitor going off. "Wait, is that me, is that my heart monitor?!" I think to myself in panic as I feel more and more of the blood on my face. It is now dry, crusted upon my skin like a scab.

 "But why can I feel that and nothing else?" Suddenly I hear the nurse and doctor begin to scramble about. Speaking calm jargon I do not understand. The monitor begins to beep faster and faster. I feel my eyes dilate like the expansion of a star.

 I feel sweat seep from my brow. A tear falls from me, a strange sting strikes up my spine and reverberates in my head like a migraine. The lights start to dim, my vision is becoming a blur, I am having episodes of blacking out.

 I feel panic not only in me, but in the room. The monitor is spiking fast, I can start to feel the ends of my body. My fingers, my toes. "Ouch..what the?!" Pain starts igniting from all ends of my body. I look down and there stands the the doctor, frantically trying to clamp a geyser of blood.

 As I watch the doctor I begin to cry silently. The horror before me cannot be described but as pure as a living nightmare. A horrific visage of horror.

 I keep my eyes to the doctor with an ungodly need to watch. But the pain in my body becomes excruciating. Pins and needles crawl up every inch of my body. The feel of knifes rapidly penetrate the nerves of my back but I cannot scream, I cannot move.

 I begin to pray and as I do, I start to feel my lips. The words, "Oh so help me god" are formed but are silent as my lips softly form each syllable.  Then suddenly, I am struck with the sharpest, most relentless pain I have ever felt.

 The pain is so horrendous my body becomes completely awakened, I scream. I start to jolt as my arms and legs are strapped. I struggle and struggle to escape. My panicked eyes look down at my chest and there stands erected in the middle of my body, a set of silver clamps wavering back and forth with each second I try to escape.

 As flail about I feel two hands grasp my shoulders, they press me down to the table and all I hear is, "Inject him, hurry, hurry or he'll die!"

 I look toward the voice, my eyes are as far over as possible and all I can see is the edge of needle and suddenly I feel a pinch in my neck. My nerves instantly clam, the erratic beeping of the monitor subsides. And again, the lights become filtered in a haze and I can keep my eyes open no longer.

 What feels like a few moments later I wake. But this time I am sitting slightly up. My head just above my heart. A little drowsy I look around, sloshing my head from one side to the next. As I look to my right, I see a window and a belt of trees. Then I look to my left and there stands a nurse looking at what I assume are my files.

 I try to speak, but I am still too dazed to do as such. The nurse finishes her examination of the files and looks over at me smiles and says, "How are you feeling Mr. Cowl?"

 Looking at her, I try to summon up some words but I can't. So with no voice I scrunch my face in approval as one may do in a state of drunken stupor. The nurse then comes closer places her hands on my forearm and says, "That is good to hear, everything went as planned, not a single complication, you should be out of here in a few days. Rest up and be sure to consume whatever the nurses supply.

 We don't want you here longer than is necessary. If you need anything, (the nurse pulls up a button from under my hand that is attached to a white cord) just press this. But for emergencies or bathroom use only. My name is Liz, I will be here a few more hours and then the next shift will take over. Now...get some rest."

 I tried the entire time to say something but I couldn't. Whatever they injected me with is still having side effects. The nurse exits the room and as she does an older gentleman steps into the door way. My eyes still affected by the injection I can't quite make out who it is.

 But he  just stands there looking at me, I think he has a blue medical mask on. He then starts to enter the room. I become somewhat worried as he has said nothing. I feel that cold breeze again I felt in the operating room just before I past out.

 The man nears me and leans over me saying, "I am Dr. Frip, your operating surgeon. Lets check your vitals and see how you are faring."

 The Doctor checks my vitals and while he does I try to speak. I am actually successful and am able to say a few words, "What...what happened?"

 The doctor, checking my eyes, "What happened?!..what do you mean?"

 The doctor lifts his light from my eyes. "I...I woke up...up during the procedure!"

The doctor, still wearing his blue medical masks removes it. His eyes stay upon mine as his hand pries it down. His face plastered with confusion, "You woke up? What are you talking about? There were no complications, everything went smoothly."

I look to the doctor with much scrutiny and better motor skills, I raise my hand with a finger extended. "No, I woke up, I saw you doing surgery on my chest. Cutting into it, cleaning away blood. I saw everything. I even saw the clamp you placed swing about as I freaked out."

 The doctor stands away from me and laughs a bit, "Oh, you're one of those, okay, simple enough. The anesthesia we gave you sometimes as incredibly adverse effects on a patient.."

 "Adverse?!" I respond while gripping the hospital bed.

   "Yes, see, some patients have outstandingly wild dreams or, rather nightmares. We even had a patient think we were aliens taking his heart. But trust me, you still have a heart as much as they do."

 I become somewhat unnerved by the response and grab at my hospital gown over my heart. I let my hand set there for a moment. I feel my heart beat and I become relieved.

 I smile at the doctor and say, "Well, I can feel my heart, so everything must be okay. Guess it was just dream, a terrible one at that." I laugh a little then cough as the pain from the surgery snuffs my moment of pleasure.

  The doctor then replies with a smile and says, "Alright, I shall be back tomorrow to check on you. Have a good night and get some rest."

 Dr. Frip turns away and starts to leave the room, as he does the lights in my room dims for a moment, as if power was being drained from them. As that happened a strange shadow contorted from the doctors shadow. A shadow with an oversize head and four arms.

 That cold feeling I had before took to my body again. Just as the doctor exited the room he turned back, looked into the room at me and smiled and as he did, I swear his eyes changed as if they were eyes of cat or something.

 A jolt of fear took me and then he vanished. I then grasped at my chest one more time to double check my heart. I close my eyes and carefully listen.

"Thump, thump, thump" replies my heart.

 I release a sigh of relief. The next day I am released form the hospital. But upon exiting the hospital I start feeling a sharp pain in my chest. I start to cough, the nurse pushing me in my wheel chair rushes in front and asks if I am okay.

 I look up at her the best I can and I shake my head no. It starts to rain, thick clouds of grey rumble with anger. The nurse turns me back around and pushes me inside. As she does she calls for the doctor. It's the same doctor that did surgery on me.

 He runs over with urgency, "What is the problem nurse?!"

 I continue to cough as the nurse replies, "He is coughing uncontrollably, I think he may be rejecting the heart!"

 Over hearing the nurse between coughs, "Rejecting the heart? But I wasn't in for heart surgery?"

 The coughing continues and the nurse and doctor exchange words as I try to suppress this unyielding cough.

  "This can't be." Says the doctor as he lifts my head and shines a light. "He was the perfect candidate, everything matched, this should be him. A hundred and fifty years of research and you're telling me he is rejecting it? Bring him back to my office, maybe we just need to tweak a few things."

 My cough only worsens as they spoke. I could not hear much of what they said as my entire body aches. The nurse pushes me through the hospital as the doctors leads us through. We reach his office, he opens the door and there in the middle is the usual patient bed.

  They both grab me and toss me on the bed. They strap me down and start to examine. The doctor leans over me and says, "You may feel more than a slight pinch."

 I look down at my chest as I feel his hand slid up under my shirt. Then a sharp pain sparks through out my entire body. I can't scream in pain as the cough is too powerful. My eyes are observing the best they can.

 As I look with the doctors hand under my shirt, I see strange motions. Motions a human hand would never make. I hear unearthly sounds from under my shirt where the doctors hand is. Sounds as if something is being pumped.

 As the pain continues to rupture through my body and the cough only increases the room becomes a frigid hole. The lights glimmer with a shroud of darkness and the walls become an irritant to my eyes as the shade of yellow becomes very unappealing.

 But suddenly, the doctor sands up, the cough ceases and I fall back completely limp on the bed. The nurse and doctor look to each other as sweat pours from every part of my body.

 The doctor looking at the nurse, "It seems his body was having a tough time meshing both the blood compounds together. I gave him some of mine, so it should even out now. Hopefully by tomorrow we will know the true success of this.

  Our leaders will be quite pleased if we can transfuse our hearts into these humans. If it is truly possible and this is it, we have billions of hosts."

 The nurse smiles at the doctor reaching into her pocket and grabs a bottle of pills. She opens it and places two in her hand. She then turns around grabs a small paper cup from the counter and fills it with water.

 I look on but am too exhausted to move. She walks over to me and asks me to open my mouth, I foolishly follow her command. She puts the pills in my mouth, followed by water and has me swallow.

 I feel the pills slide down my throat with ease. The nurse tells me I must remain here for twenty minutes. The doctor looks at me and says nothing. His five o'clock shadow smile says it all. He exits the office along with the nurse.

 I become worried as they leave me strapped to a patient table. I try to move but I can't, twenty minutes goes by. I feel warm and fuzzy. A smile spreads wildly across my tired face. The nurse enters, "Okay, lets get you out of here and back home."

 The nurse helps me into the wheel chair. I feel drool dripping from my mouth. The nurse pulls a clothe from her pocket, "There there, we can't have you drooling all over the place." She wipes the drool from my face.

 After a few minutes outside the hospital a van pulls up, "Witch Tree Mental Hospital."
My eyes glide across each word. My drugged brain has little to say but a feeling over takes me. A feeling of unrest.

 A portly man exits the van and approaches, he nods to the nurse as he moves behind me. I suddenly feel a heavy grip grab the wheel chair and begin to push me. The van door opens, a small elevator lift rolls out. I am guided onto it and into the van and safely belted in.

 The portly man enters the driver side of the van. While a gentleman beside me in an all white nurse outfit looks forward. The portly man turns the key, starts the engine and before we drive off he looks back with a devilish green and says, "Welcome, you'll be quite comfortable here, no more living a life without friends."

 Drool starts to fall from my lip. Both the driver and the gentleman beside me ignore it. I grunt to grab the gentleman's attention, but he just looks at me as my drugged eyes beg for help. He says or does nothing but keeps his eyes front.

 About thirty minutes goes by and we arrive at a large dull government looking building. No windows, only a black door with the bold words printed on it, "Authorized personnel only."

 I am briskly removed from the van and escorted to the secured door. We enter the building and make our way through a security check point. In my drugged state, I can only explain the place as a drab nightmare. A place colored in despair. Where the floors are cracked, the smell of rubbing alcohol hugs the air.

 And dim yellow lights like dying fireflies are pressed into it. After a few moments of check points we walk down a long hall pass multiple doors on either side. Still heavily sedated I can do nothing but hope for the best.

 A pool of drool has formed over my limped right hand that rests just at my waist. The portly man guides me through a set of doors at the end of the hall. The doors were locked with a chain and a key card to enter.

 As we enter the room I see many others like me. Others in wheel chairs, others just slouched in stationary chairs and others on the floor drooling. The portly man pushes me into the middle of the room.

He then steps in front of me, takes his sleeve and wipes the drool from my face with a devilish smile. He places one hand on each arm rests of the wheel chair and says, "see, now you have friends just like you. No more lonely nights my friend. And hopefully soon enough, that heart in there won't be rejected by your body and you can be accepted back into the world...Well, you won't exactly be you, but you won't be this any more." As he looks around at all the other drooling patients.

 The portly man then stands back up and disappears behind me. Then, all I hear is the sound of the door being locked and the mumbling and grumbling of those around me.

Do you think there is strange experiments out there that are trying to change the world forever? 

It is only the limits you design that shall set your worth, A Man's Traveled Heart
Coming soon, The Bleeding of Words

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