The Restoration of an (Outgoing) Introvert


The Restoration of an (Outgoing) Introvert

It's not that I don't want to see you, it's that I can't. I can't do this anymore, I am exhausted. Every waking hour, it is them, you, us, him, her, this that. A barrage of active minds in world I find wonderful but grow tired of.

I am not dulled by your presence or any others. I am rather, drained, as one might be after excreting themselves in exercise. I need time to present my heart, my mind, with silence. With myself and myself alone.

Allow me to play my instruments without an audience. Without the subtle hints that you want to do something else. Let me be quiet for moments to come and let time fade between the bones of my flesh. Trickling through like atoms of earth.

I need to bring nourishment from the quiet waning of stillness. No motion, but the beating of my heart. No sound, but the calming of my thoughts. I love....you, all of you as I did yesterday, but today, today I am spent of vitality.

I am receding to the grasp of irritation. I must take a spade and find a new spring to geyser. Allowing new spirit to gush forward. To be released so that I may not fall to the contempt of self. Keeping myself from harsh habits to cope with the hail of others.

I am weary of doing what I know harms my passion. I must insist I stay distant from the dwellings that are not of mine. I must step from the bank of the river and allow myself to flow. To feel the cold, the warmth, and the ups and downs I have hidden.

I have gripped to vices once again for I have stretched my soul to thin, my mind the same. I love you and all still the same. But I am not like most I know, I must strain myself often of the presence of others.

Allow my heart to center, for often it comes unhinged. Dangling by a single thread till the heat of my irritation severs it. I then become a pitiful sight holding a drink to sooth the dull pain of my heart. I must step away, I give no apology, for there is something about all of us, that needs time to ourselves.
____

Do you need to recharge away from others sometimes, if you do, what do you do to recharge?

 Tackle more of my thoughts in, A Man's Traveled Heart
Coming soon, The Bleeding of Words

 Here are the links to my social media, connect with me, Twitter, YouTube, Instagram, and Facebook
Location: Everett, WA, USA

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Image
  Step Out! Out, Out from the gloom, The obscure breath of doubt Take stone, break thy yoke, Let trouble fall, let shoulders be lifted, Flow, to the heavens Be but strain no more, Open wide, thy mouth, Let prayer fill thy tongue Be parched no more. Stillness in heart  Though seas roar like lions, And beast snarl among mist, Step,  Out! To mercy of life, Ease, be reborn. Let no shackle of past Be meaning for tear Take hammer,  Fracture the cumbersome Be feet of swift Fill your days with strides, Though dunes widen And heat scorches thy soles. Out, Step out from thy fear, There is another to call To breach, To reach your heart  Though thee be of man, Let not thy eyes of flesh Be the dealings of truth, Wander, In aspect to be whole Be not the coward hidden in cave, A creature curled  Like frightened doe, For he walks beside thee, Like king among his men, A sword of greatness Sways from his belt, Ready, To swing against thy enemies, A presence more bold  T...
Read more

I Had Forgotten

Image
 I Had Forgotten     Red smoke plumes in the air. A brilliant, yet daunting sky of clouded crimson thickens the sky in sheets of billowed cotton. It rises with no sense to stop. The atmosphere frightens, yet heightens the senses with a strange tingle of pleasure.  We are losing our homes to the natural order. Yet I am not taken by tears, but by an odd joy of entertainment. For too long have I adhered myself to these pieces of physical wealth. Yes, through struggle, persistence and consistent efforts I have dawned myself with such rewards.  But for too long now, I have forgotten the path I had been taken. I had forgotten the many beads of sweat I spewed from the exhaustion to gain such things. I had forgotten the lonely misery I had fought. I forgotten the friends that lifted me, the moments that tore me down only to bring me higher.   I had forgotten the delicacy of a flower. The aromas of nature the beauty within myself and the beauty so n...
Read more