The Restoration of an (Outgoing) Introvert
It's not that I don't want to see you, it's that I can't. I can't do this anymore, I am exhausted. Every waking hour, it is them, you, us, him, her, this that. A barrage of active minds in world I find wonderful but grow tired of.
I am not dulled by your presence or any others. I am rather, drained, as one might be after excreting themselves in exercise. I need time to present my heart, my mind, with silence. With myself and myself alone.
Allow me to play my instruments without an audience. Without the subtle hints that you want to do something else. Let me be quiet for moments to come and let time fade between the bones of my flesh. Trickling through like atoms of earth.
I need to bring nourishment from the quiet waning of stillness. No motion, but the beating of my heart. No sound, but the calming of my thoughts. I love....you, all of you as I did yesterday, but today, today I am spent of vitality.
I am receding to the grasp of irritation. I must take a spade and find a new spring to geyser. Allowing new spirit to gush forward. To be released so that I may not fall to the contempt of self. Keeping myself from harsh habits to cope with the hail of others.
I am weary of doing what I know harms my passion. I must insist I stay distant from the dwellings that are not of mine. I must step from the bank of the river and allow myself to flow. To feel the cold, the warmth, and the ups and downs I have hidden.
I have gripped to vices once again for I have stretched my soul to thin, my mind the same. I love you and all still the same. But I am not like most I know, I must strain myself often of the presence of others.
Allow my heart to center, for often it comes unhinged. Dangling by a single thread till the heat of my irritation severs it. I then become a pitiful sight holding a drink to sooth the dull pain of my heart. I must step away, I give no apology, for there is something about all of us, that needs time to ourselves.
Do you need to recharge away from others sometimes, if you do, what do you do to recharge?
Tackle more of my thoughts in, A Man's Traveled Heart
Coming soon, The Bleeding of Words
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