Only to fall once again. Living the perpetual life of anxiety as they wait for their doomed decent to a crashing end. But as they fall, there is beauty in each droplet, they do not fall without purpose. They bring nourishment to trees, to plants, to us.
They fall and wash away the filth that clutters the lives of what we cannot see. They are translucent in their appearance, but are felt like any other creation nature births. They cool the skin on a summers day or sting the flesh upon a bitter evening. Yet, they fall with elegance and bring us a gift with each crashing fall.
I think this, as I waltz with my wife one last time. Tonight, she is my droplet of rain, translucent in soul, purposeful with each second, elegant with each breath, but mighty in force. Tonight, we dance beneath the rain, letting it wash away our tears as we catch a silent beat.
Her head covered in a hat made of white and purple fabric flowers. Matching her amethyst dress as it flows with the motion of our bodies. I hold her close, clutching to her with my heart. Our hands gently laced as we follow our waltz.
Her eyes still as vibrant as the day we met, but subtle with grief and death. I can feel the weight of her heart, it sinks slowly with each step we take. The rain continues to fall with no signs of letting up.
Our clothes drenched in the madness of nature. But we pay it no mind, we wrap our anguished hearts in a smile. We ignore our impending end as we let the night consume our moment. We give ourselves to this waltz.
Letting our bodies speak and our emotions resonate like music through the air. Our eyes lock as we listen to the rhythms of our lowering hearts. The rain, suddenly accompanied by a heavy a wind, my wife's hate is lifted from her head.
She attempts to catch it, but she is left with the wind howling across her now bare skin. I see embarrassment trying to wash over her eyes. But I hold her tighter, I clasp one hand upon her lower back and another upon the back of her bare scalp.
I feel her sink deeper into the exhaustion of her ill body. But she fights it, we continue our waltz beneath the rain. Our tears still clouded by the spatter of droplets. We are silent on our pain but have groomed ourselves of this suffering, this end.
As we waltz heart in heart, I look to the building from which she has spent most her last nights. I look to the third floor window of her room. There, from the window stares her family, looking on with love and great sadness. I feel myself wanting to collapse as I lock eyes with our family, but I fight back, I stay strong.
Then gently press my wife from my body and place my hands upon her hips and hers upon my shoulders. The rain begins to let up, the wind calms and now our tears are visible. No longer hidden in the rain.
We smile with sorrow as we look to each other. We waltz a moment longer and as we do, my wife's eyes take with much heartbreak but are also overcome with peace. We stop, our bodies cease with the moment, my heart shivers with fear and constricts with grief.
My throat becomes hollow, choked with grief. I hold her by the hips still. Looking to each other she slowly closes her eyes, I am prepared I think to myself, but I am not. Her body becomes vacant, her heart silent.
I catch her and as the rain tenderly falls upon us both. I look to her lifeless vessel and cry with a hysterical burden of sorrow.
"She is gone....."
Have you ever had to say goodbye to someone and know you were going to have to?
What were the thoughts sprouting in your mind your heart at the time?
You can find more heart throbbing stories in, A Man's Traveled Heart
Coming soon, The Bleeding of Words.
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