Two Steps Back, One Step Forward
Forward, only to step back. To fall once again into a prism of frustration. Feeling your skin tighten as if it is not yours. Everything becoming an obstacle, even those you love. Beginning to detest the very grounds you walk upon.
The world feels as if you are standing against titans. Waging an endless war just to keep your chest beating. Hoping that tomorrow will be just a little less of hell. That the coals that burn beneath your feet will cool; if only for a moment.
At times you feel a frozen tundra would be more welcoming than this blazing horizon. Putting out one fire only to see another rise. Watching as the home you built become charcoal for the devil to brew its feast.
Falling back from the two steps forward. So close, arms reach; but as your fingers tips caress the lips of your dreams, everything shatters. Walls come crumbling down, you breathe with inane sense to let it all collapse.
To allow the flames to leave no ruins of your heart. To let yourself catch fire and scream for serenity in the suffering of the inferno; and in your thoughts as the fire consumes. You are plucked from the flames by the hand of angel.
They pull you to the sky, to where the clouds meet the stars and moon cries. You weep, as you see the grace before you. Held by the angel you ask why, why so much misery for I? But no voice replies, only the wind that is forced from the wings of the angel.
Suddenly you begin to descend, falling to the ocean, again you feel abandoned in your hope. For no answer replied from the angels mouth. Descending, you see the ocean rising to you feet. Helpless, you scream in malice. Resenting the results of your rescue. You rebuke the very voice that never replied.
So you fall, wishing again a death to brutal, nothing remains in the chambers of memory. So the ocean gives response. It swallows your feet, but you hold no breath. It rises to your knees but you do not fight back. It surrounds your chest, but you ignore your heart.
It reaches your tongue but you bring no words. You allow your lungs to drown; to be washed from this earth as if retribution of genesis. But never to come back; to breathe. Losing sense of purpose as you struggle for one last breath.
Breathing with one last fabled attempt, a tear falls. It resounds a million echoes; reflecting the distance traveled, the beasts slayed, the devil hung from his own bowls, and titans mauled.
Thank you for reading!
How far have you come?!
More elegant thoughts to be read in, A Man's Traveled Heart
Coming soon, The Bleeding of Words
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