Fleeting my heart becomes, destitution begins its journey from my heart, to my mind. I feel myself succumbing to emptiness. The forbidden fruit of surrender, surrounded by lush fields of green, as butterflies of pearl white flood the summer air.
I feel weak, like a rotting tree, collapsing to the bitter seasons of change. I grip the sand with both hands, squeezing with intensity. I lift my hands and look to them, the sand falling from my compressing grip.
Tumbling to where they started, where they came from. Never to move, unless forced by nature. I think, am I but these grains of sand? Moved only by the ever uncertain cosmos. I feel as if I am, for nothing seems to have changed.
I feel stuck, crammed between a billion others as I struggle to find air. Only to be picked up, suddenly gripped with hope, then squeezed, falling back to where I came from. Silent, hopeless, a grain of sand among billions.
As I feel myself perish to my ill-fated thoughts, crumbling upon this tragically romantic shore. I see something, a ship. I stand, as I do it draws closer, I begin to make out its shape. It is massive, it bears white pearl sails, as of the butterflies of my thoughts.
The body of the ship is black, it appears as if the sails are floating on memory. I step deeper from the shore, my ankles become hugged by the ocean. I see the ships bow bears the wings of an angel, spreading wide, as if to embrace those before they board.
Looking to it, I become mesmerized by its odd beauty, its lucid like allure. I walk further from the shore, now my thighs are enveloped in the ocean. Shivers take hold of me as I look to this ghostly ship. Soon, I am neck deep, the water crests just beneath my chin.
The ship is clear, its body is not whole, it is built of black flames, its sails, tattered, swaying in the manner of surrender. The angel, its wings, still spread wide to embrace, but it's face is rotted, flesh hangs from it.
Its eyes are no more, its skull peers from its dying flesh. I can't look away, a cold but warming comfort seeps over me. I am still, the boat approaches with haste, waves crash over my head. I do not move, the sun sinks to the horizon and all becomes dark.
Except the lights that shines from the yielding sails. I am suddenly over taken by a wave, I struggle to reach the surface. As my frantic instincts take over I feel the ocean fill my lungs, I see a hand reach from the surface.
A delicate hand, like a goddess, glowing, vibrant with a halo of light. But as it enters the water, it becomes dark, pale, it mutates to wretched bones of a skeleton. I panic, I push away, but it grabs my leg. I fight, but am quickly struck with the need to close my eyes as if to rest.
Upon the closing of my eyes, I am transported to what I think is but a dream. Fields of green grass and fluttering butterflies of pearl float about me. I feel weightless, as I look around, I see that these winged creatures of beauty are holding me up.
But it is only for a moment in which they embrace me, for quickly in a sudden passion of disgust, they release me. I fall, hitting the ground, the grass that was once lush becomes withered. The ship of black flames rises from beneath me. An unholy shriek escapes it bowels, it pierces my ears. I cover them upon hearing the horrific sound.
The angel at the bow of the ship reaches for me, I try to escape but cannot move. It grabs me by my wrist, lifts me to its face, it's empty orbits look to me. I can feel it reaching into my soul, a tear falls from me. I can't comprehend why a tear has found its way from me.
I can neither move nor speak, I feel no fear, no hope, I am empty. As the angel holds me, its mouth suddenly stretches like that of a snake, it's foul breath smells of death. Its teeth, as sharp as the beasts that have conquered the ocean depths. My eyes jolt back and forth, looking for an escape.
But all is futile, I am swallowed whole. I fall down this miserable creatures throat, blackness coats the way, heat frills from every moment. As I am falling, I hear something from what I think is its belly, I hear screams. Relentless screams of agony.
I can hear them getting closer, as I do, blood suddenly spurts from beneath me. Its sweet scent of iron catches my senses. I see it flooding to my feet, the screams penetrated my flesh and strike my bones. I shiver with revulsion.
The screams now resonate from my heart. Falling still, I hear something among the shrieking, I hear a voice. It is quiet, soft and gentle. But has a command to it that I cannot explain. The blood begins to fill the space around me.
I concentrate on the whispering voice. It tells me the fight, the blood reaches my knees. I can feel its warm viscous form starting to dry upon me. As if to make a cast of my body. I fight and listen closer to the voice. Again it tells me to fight, I begin to listen intensely.
As I do, I begin to feel my toes move. I listen more and close my eyes. I begin to feel my fingers move, then my legs, my hands, my head and my heart begins to race. I feel fear and hope overwhelm my body.
I start to fight, I yell back to the screaming voices from the belly of what I can only assume is hell. I claw my way up the dark cavernous beasts throat. The blood continues to rise. The screams follow at my ears. But I resist. I take hold of every inch of these pulsating walls of dying flesh and crawl out.
I fall from the dying angels throat. I hit the oceans surface, I sink under. I hold my breath and begin to swim. As I do, a wave rushes in from behind and pushes me to shore. I am tossed onto the sands and roll upon it like a dying fish.
My lungs are filled with water, my body rejects it. My lungs become clear and I sit up. Drenched, I wring some of the water from my clothes. I look to the horizon and there, in the far distance is the ship fading away into the glittering night of the stars.
What are you giving up on and why, why are you not fighting for it?
Enthralled, want more? A Man's Traveled Heart
Coming soon, The Bleeding of Words
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