First Book and Why I Write
MY FIRST BOOK AND WHY I WRITE
Hey everyone, welcome my blog where all things of me as an architect of imagination will be.
Today I just want to talk about my small journey with my fist book and why I wrote it. First off, I have always had the dream to write a book. As a kid I was always writing stories, especially based off my favorite video games and Final Fantasy VII is one of my all time favorite games. It was the first game that really sparked a full potential story in me. A friend and me had just finished beating the game together, probably for the second or third time. I remember vividly, we were about ten or twelve, we were in my room and we both wanted to write our own stories for a video game, (which is another dream of mine, which I will achieve soon enough.) And we were filled with excitement that we just beat the game and are about to make our own stories. We had smiles that stretched from ear to ear, our eyes were wide with adventure, and our hearts were ready to unwind our imagination. An I remember writing almost a whole story about a game based off FF7, I had a whole journal full. This amazing idea about a kid who loses his whole family only to come back and avenge their death from an evil man that was trying to kill of everyone on earth. But, like many of the things I did back in the day, I never finished. I have always been someone to start something and move on to the next thing I find interesting. Creating things from scratch is a huge enjoyment for me. Which is one reason why I like writing. I can create characters, ideas, and worlds all from scratch, all without limit.
So, fast forward eleven or twelve years and I am in college after a year of being out of the Army in 2011. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life really. I was in constant anxiety of what am I going to do, my life was an endless nailing biting movie of bad decisions and self assassination. It always felt like something was leering over me, watching me, waiting for me to just completely fall apart, which I almost did numerous times. After a year of being out of the Army, I decided to go to school. Which was really difficult, as I hate school, I hate systems really. Systems give me great dread, they drown my soul and make feel as if my life has already expired. I have tried many different jobs and business through the first four years of being out of the army. Each their own soul sucking pleasure. Nothing wrong with routine jobs, but someone like me, I will die in something like that. All through my school life, D's and F's were my thing. I even repeated a year of high school, but still graduated on time. So, going back to school was definitely a huge stress of mine. It took me a few years to get used to it. I was even drinking during classes my first year just to numb the idea of school and the struggles I was having in life. After about a year into school, I picked up writing poems on the side. I was the kid that would write poetry for fun and write it for the girls I was in "love" with growing up. But, as a boy, that is not the cool thing to do. So I tossed it to the side and drowned myself in video games. Which I cant lie, I like video games but not as much as writing. Anyways, as school went on I found myself writing more and more poems and I wanted a way to share my talent for writing. Deep down I was always hoping my writing would help someone, which eventually it did, a couple people actually. That I will get into another time.
Wanting to share my talent, I set up an Instagram account, Poemjunkybiffle, which is actually still alive and well, (go check it out.) Everyday I would write a poem and post it. I was never after the likes, and still not. I am passionate about my writing and being able to share it, is good enough for me. After a while of sharing on Instagram I started to share on Facebook, which has ceased for quite some time as I am revamping my social media life. But as time went on with my writing and social media and school. I was still struggling with myself internally. My mind was constantly on edge and life seemed to be nothing but suffering that I could neither handle nor stop. But something in me kept itching and I couldn't figure out how to scratch it. It was getting to the point where I felt like I wanted to jump out of my skin and find a whole to new life to live in and hide in the darkness of my sorrow. Yet, something in me also kept telling me to keep going, to keep pushing. I believe that little voice had been instilled in me from the Army and I listened to it. I am extremely glad I did, because what is happening in my life now and how I view things never would have happened if I didn't. Now back to my book, so, this itch I had was finally getting satisfied, satisfied a bit through the idea of picking up on writing stories again. But here's the thing. I do not like reading long fiction stories. I like sweet and intriguing short stories. Looking at that, I came up with the idea of writing short stories while attending school. And it was my first year at the University of Washington Bothell. I had just switched my major for the second time. Life in school was stressing me out, along with my personal life. I had calm down on the drinking and had finally made some leeway and figuring out what I wanted from my life. And I wanted to write a book, not a usual book, something unique that very little people do. I wanted to write a short story book but with poems, and I did. All the time I had been writing short stories on the side, I decided to collect them together and add poems to them and put them into a book. I had started them summer of 2015 and finished the summer of 2016, every chance I had to write I wrote. I only had a handful of short stories I had written before that summer, but it was enough to get me started.
I was taking three classes a quarter and writing. During my breaks I would write till I could not stay awake. There is something about writing that energizes me. Especially when I am onto a story that really invigorates my heart and mind. Sometimes I will even forget to eat, Ill have breakfast and that's it. But I cant help it, I love getting lost in the world of my head and imagination. I love watching my words create something amazing, something that everyone in the world can enjoy if they so please. I will never forget, when I finished writing my first book. It was such a great feeling, indescribable, I would say its right up there with graduation into Ranger Battalion, which turned out to be a huge mess for me. (Another story another time.) It was a dream I always wanted and now I have it. Writing gives me a sense of joy, of bliss, it gives me a high. It makes every drug, drink, and act seem pointless, wasteful. Writing brings me to life. It gives me faith in myself and my beliefs. It gives me strength to keep going, it always helps me to put what I cant explain, into a story. I believe there are many things in life that we cannot explain, and the only way to explain it, is to act upon our imagination and follow our passion. Writing was a pinnacle point in my life in changing everything for the better, it has allowed me to become who I truly want to be. My writing is where I can lay it all down and feel no sense of pain. I think everyone should try writing, free write that is, there is something about writing that gives our brains stimulant that nothing else can give it. If there is something you are struggling with in life, write it down on paper, write down what ever that struggle makes you feel or think. Become the author of our life, not the reader.
Life is limited, and our imagination is endless.